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sobota, 07 stycznia 2012
It took just few minutes
surprised me
how quick and how painful is
abortion
of my love to you

in a way it was easier than I ever expected

just needed to tell you 
in my weakest moment
that I'm leaving you
because the feelings I have for you
are unbearable
impossible to carry on my own
so now I'm going away
and responsibility is yours

do whatever you want with that knowledge
don't tell me
punish me with your silence
but that love is not mine anymore

how strange to find
it feels like giving birth to the dead child
beginning of an end

now I know those guilt worms 
eating me from inside
disguised themselves for butterflies in my stomach

leaving you is not easy
and it hurts
tears me apart
gives me thousand doubts
breaks me in half
and tells me stories of lands with no hope

but as well that could be one of your lies
killing another piece of my heart
which tells me there is no other way
just to say good bye
 
23:26, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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poniedziałek, 12 grudnia 2011
I don't miss you
and I do
And long for your
word, sign of living
and the same moment
don't care
as I feel you don't
about me.
It doesn't hurt much more
than the bee sting
-it's there
swells and feels uncomfortable
but I know it will go
sooner or later
Good I'm not allergic 
I'll live
Opposite to the poor bee
it's not the question
of survival

21:04, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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piątek, 02 grudnia 2011
I cut my tongue
reminds me of your 
last kiss
and day after
when I was biting
my lips
00:36, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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wtorek, 04 października 2011
WHEN

I'll see you and you'll touch me

get on me like lava
turn me into magma
under your hands
melt me
caress me
let me forget
the stone I was

I'll meet you to taste the salt
of your caramel body
and of my tears
next morning
when I'll wake up alone

17:22, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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piątek, 16 września 2011
I'm in pieces-my body in England, my soul in Poland, my heart in Israel...
00:45, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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wtorek, 13 września 2011
fear of falling for you grows in my guts. there is no space for us on entire globe yet we still manage to cross our paths
you asking me what I'm afraid of while I'm in your arms, and I'm thinking about the moment when you will have to walk away and I'll be going back to my life with burden of all emotions and feelings for you
because I believe in love at first touch...
19:51, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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sobota, 13 sierpnia 2011
thinking about the passing time, life patterns, longing for,
needs, what means being a good person, is there any place on earth I can say I belong to etc
I'm thinking with pictures and cannot describe 'em in words.
like transpotting- stream of images, melting one into another, my thoughts flow and I cannot properly catch any of them. somewhere where was your face for a split second there is a sand of a beach by the Thames and in next few moments it's a child with ice-cream. this kind of stream is unstopable, like a daydream
from that morning in a park long time ago I remember sun on the grass and smell of coffee. and that I felt really happy and sad at the same moment
15:54, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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piątek, 24 czerwca 2011
spinoza
'Fear cannot be without hope nor hope without fear'
I felt that for last few days. now there is no fear so no hope. or maybe the other way around. tired of being hopeful and scared. mentally and physically.
I'm joining the orphan club
there is no way back, no hope, no arms to be wrapped in to take my sorrow away.
I wish to see my mother's smile, feel touch of her hand on my head, hear her gentle voice when she was telling me she loves me. instead I can stand by her bedside and look at her powerless body. she is so fragile...

I cannot imagine my life without her guidance. without her sweet embrace. without her kindness and warmth. world is becoming a dark and cold place

 

18:20, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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wtorek, 31 maja 2011
'To have the Power to forgive is the greatest Power of all And because of this I forgive myself'
Tracey Emin

I went to see her exhibition LOVE IS WHAT YOU WANT yesterday. I'm still moved and a bit shaken
10:40, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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niedziela, 29 maja 2011
[marukami]
"Become like a sheet of blotting paper and soak it all in. Later on you can figure out what to keep and what to unload."

 
selection. refusal. defense and attack.
the hardest part is to take care of myself without looking back.
work in progress 
02:14, monoli , przewinelo mi sie...
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